I Love TikTok But...
My honest opinion on how social media influencers can help and harm your decision making.
You’re scrolling on TikTok (insert whatever media platform) and you run across someone who is talking about their mental health struggles. For me, these posts are usually sandwiched between a booktok review and a cat video. They recommended that you try out a new journal maybe. Or they are documenting their journey through depression and it just resonates SO much with you and makes you feel seen. OR maybe, through their videos and the videos of others, you find you have autism/ADHD/trauma/dissociative disorder. They feel good. And sometimes, they are good. They are helpful. They push you in the right direction to finding help .But maybe, just maybe, some of these aren’t sources that you should be turning to. Maybe…. they are leading you down the wrong path. And maybe we should all be protecting ourselves a little more carefully.
This is such a controversial topic and stance to take. Oftentimes I wonder… “wait, AM I the asshole?”. And trust me, people tell me I am. Recently, a size-positive influencer I followed (notice the past tense) posted a question to her followers that was extremely misleading regarding body dysmorphia. I offered a clinical opinion… to be helpful… and was met with a lot of appreciation and also a small (but loud and mean) subset of people who felt they needed the diagnosis and the label. It got me thinking. (Semi-petty side note, I DM’ed her to give some constructive feedback and she left me on read. So bye girl.)
Here is the thing. We all have what we need to succeed. Most of us are just too anxious, depressed, stressed, or down on ourselves to access it. There is a small subset of our society that is truly unable to access and dip into this inner well of strength that we all have…. and chances are you are not one of them. But chances are you are someone who has been exposed to hundreds and thousands of messages about mental health as you scroll. Sad story is…. people are making A TON money off of turning behavioral health terms and info into buzz words and cult followings. (Much more than most behavioral health providers have ever made providing treatment/therapy.) Even more disturbing is they are making money off of people who don’t have the resources or information to know that they are being lead down a path of staying unhealthy and/or unhappy. Sometimes… it’s tempting to take the easy route and sit with our misery, and influencers are making BANK off of you doing that. It sucks.
The other dangerous thing that social media influencers sometimes do… is say there is something wrong with you if you don’t “fit” with the people around you. My clients are confused sometimes when I tell them, “I don’t think there is anything wrong with you. I think your environment taught you wrong things about yourself”. Does this apply to everyone? No, of course not. But isn’t it worth being open to the fact that there are things in fact that you can change, work with, or add to your daily life that could help you feel strong and your true authentic self? It might lead to a life or routine that doesn’t look like everyone else’s. But is that worse than believing you are less than? That there is only ONE way of living and if you aren’t capable of living that way then that must mean: all people are mean and terrible, you don’t fit and should stay in your small box, or you should only consume information from one person or a small group of “influencers” or “experts”?
In order to do the work to get to that inner well or strength, you have to do some hard things. A diagnosis does not have to be a death sentence, an excuse, or mean that you can’t get where you need or want to go. A diagnosis can help point you in the right direction for what tools, coping skills, or professionals you might want to tap into. But at the end of the day, you don’t NEED a diagnosis to legitimize your struggles. Sure, it can give some of us peace of mind, and if it does then you should pursue it. But also keep in mind, needlessly pathologizing our humanity and our struggles can be the first step down the road of being stuck. If you’re seeking a diagnosis, ask yourself WHY first. Instead of automatically going down that road. Instead, we should be turning to what we can do to uncover, unearth, and tap into our strength. It’s not easy. It’s definitely not always pretty. And it takes time. But trust me… it’s worth it.
Do TikTok and other social media platforms have a place and role in mental health advocacy and recovery? Yes, of course. I mean, I’m on Instagram. And there is tons and tons of research on how connecting with people who have the lived experience of a certain mental health diagnosis or struggle can be beneficial. But it’s not the ONLY source of information you should be using to determine if and/or what changes you want to make in your life.
When/if you find a source on social media that resonates with you, do your research and protect yourself. Who is this person and what are their credentials? What is the skill, lifestyle change, or mindset they are recommending? Are they making money of that reel and if so, for what? Take that information to your therapist/mental health provider and see what feedback they give you. (Another side note- I once had a client come across a TikTok that made them believe that they had autism. I didn’t agree with that but after we talked, I did think there was some ADHD that we missed. We pivoted and are now doing ADHD work PLUS her doctor thought medication would be helpful. She is so much happier now.) Do they have reading that they think would help give you more insight into whether this advice is for you? Maybe you have a mentor or a close friend who you trust to give you honest feedback. Take all that info and then make your decision.
Don’t let any influencer or motivational speaker tell you that there is something wrong with you. That you are your diagnosis or label. Or that you have to “fix” yourself to fit into the world or a certain community. Be you. And find the tools that help you open that door and pull from that well to be the healthiest and happiest version of yourself.